The First Month of Grief: What to Expect After a Loss

Grieving the loss of a loved one is never easy—and the first month of grief can be especially overwhelming. Emotions feel raw, routines fall apart, and you're left wondering what life is supposed to look like now. For some, there's a funeral or memorial. For others—like with both of my parents—there’s no formal service, just the quiet that follows.

There might be sympathy cards, meals dropped off, or supportive texts in those early days. And then, almost suddenly, it stops. The world keeps spinning. People return to their lives. But you’re still sitting in the ache, trying to cope with grief behind closed doors. That’s the part no one really prepares you for.

For me, when my mom passed, it was a whirlwind. I felt like someone punched me in the gut and then ripped my heart out. She was only 59. I was supposed to have so much more time. I still needed her. I still do.

The weight of her loss was overwhelming—but I didn’t even have time to fully sit with it. My dad was left behind and had to figure out what to do next. So I put my grief on the back burner to help him with his. That’s what we do sometimes—we step up for the ones who are still here, even when we’re hurting ourselves.

In those early weeks, everything was foggy. You might forget things, feel completely numb, or cry so hard you can't catch your breath. And then the next minute, you might feel nothing at all. That’s normal. That’s grief.

One thing I eventually did, a few months later, was attend a grief support group. It was one of the best decisions I could’ve made. You don’t have to say a word at first. You can just sit and listen. And when you're ready to talk, no one judges. You’re in a room with people who truly get it. I went for almost two years. It helped me carry the weight in a way that felt just a little bit lighter.

Coping During the First Month After a Loss

If you're in the first few weeks after someone passes, here’s what I want you to know:

• What you’re feeling is normal. The ups, the downs, the numbness—it’s all part of it.
• Take it one day at a time—or one hour if that’s all you can manage.
• Let others help. Whether it’s bringing a meal or just sitting quietly with you, try to accept support.  I’ll be honest—this is where I fall short. I tend to handle a lot on my own. I don’t isolate, but I do find comfort in sitting quietly with my own thoughts. 
• Write things down. The fog can make everything feel scattered. - This helps tremendously!
• Care for yourself gently. Rest, hydrate, and nourish your body—even small efforts matter.
• You’re not alone. Whether through family, friends, or a grief support group, there are people who understand what you’re going through.

And remember....grief doesn’t have a timeline. And even though people may stop checking in after a week or two, your heart is still holding onto every memory, every conversation, every loss. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It just means you loved deeply.

If you’re reading this and you're in the first month after a loss, please be gentle with yourself. This is one of the hardest parts of grief. But you don’t have to walk it alone.