She Wasn’t Just Another Cat - She Was My Hope After Loss

A story about grief, healing, and the tiny kitten who came into my life when I needed her most.

If you’re not an animal person, this story may be hard to understand. But if you are - if you’ve ever loved an animal deeply - then you know they aren’t “just pets.” They become part of our lives in ways that are hard to explain and impossible to forget.

Some animals come into our lives as companions.
Others arrive as lifelines.

On Monday, January 19, 2026, we said goodbye to one of ours.

Her name was Hope.
We called her Hopie Lu… sometimes Lillie, sometimes Lu Lu Lillie. 
She was 15½ years old, but to us, she was always our forever kitten. Tiny. Delicate. Quietly strong.

Hope came into my life six months after my mom passed, the hardest frigging year of my life.  You know, with all the firsts.  I didn’t know it then, but Hope was about to walk beside me through the part of loss that changes you forever.

The Day I Found Her

I found Hope tucked inside the bumper of my car on the very last day of my job.

She was so tiny and fragile. Covered in fleas. Weak. I remember calling the vet and telling them I was on my way, not fully understanding what I was walking into, only knowing I couldn’t leave her there.

She was anemic from the fleas, so fragile that even drawing blood was difficult. But they managed. And I brought her home.

“We Just Need Hope”

I made her comfortable in our spare room and laid down beside her. I remember saying out loud, “I’m going to do everything I can to save you. We just need hope.”

And there it was.
That was her name.

How We Saved Each Other

She helped me through the hardest part of my grief.
That first year.
The quiet days.
The heavy nights.

But she needed me, too.

She needed me to be there for her.
To help her get strong.
To help her heal.

She didn’t ask for anything more than care, patience, and love.  Ok, and maybe some kitten love bites too.  And in showing up for her, I was slowly finding my way back myself.

I always say she saved me.
And the truth is, we saved each other.

Gratitude for the Hands That Helped Us

Throughout most of Hope’s life, she was healthy. She dealt with stomatitis early on and had half of her teeth removed, but after that, she rarely had any issues - never even a cold. In her final months, as we navigated kidney disease and the urgent, fragile moments that came with it, we were never alone.

Dr. Christopher Slade and the entire team at Edgebrook Veterinary Hospital in East Brunswick, New Jersey have always been there for us. Not just for Hope, but for all of my animals. Time and time again, they have shown up with compassion, patience, and steady care when emotions were high and decisions were hard.

To have a veterinary team you truly trust means everything. Knowing I could bring my crew to people who would treat them with respect, gentleness, and dignity gave me peace when I needed it most. That kind of care stays with you long after the appointment ends.

I am deeply grateful.

When Loss Is Layered

Some losses cut deeper because they’re tied to other losses. Other seasons. Other versions of ourselves.

If you’ve ever loved an animal who carried you through something you didn’t think you’d survive, you understand. They don’t fix the grief. They sit with it. They stay.

Today feels tender. Raw. Heavy.
And that’s okay.

Love doesn’t disappear when they leave. It settles into memory. Into gratitude. Into the quiet knowing that they came into our lives exactly when we needed them most.

Hope’s life mattered.
And so does the love you carry for the ones who helped you survive.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be designing a couple of new pet memorials in honor of my sweet Hope. It feels like a quiet way to keep her close and to honor what she meant to me. I’ll share more when they’re ready.

If you’re walking this path too, I’ve gathered my current pet memorial gifts in one place. Each one is created with the same care and understanding that comes from loving deeply and losing just as deeply.
[View Pet Memorial Gifts]

Thank you for letting me share my story of Hope with you. And if your heart is hurting today too, please know you’re not alone.

A short tribute video of Hope can be watched here. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Ri3GBR35xlk